Some little girls eat up the attention they’ll get as a flower girl in a wedding – and may even entertain the guests for a moment – while others may become very nervous as they realize the task before them, and might even try to back out of walking down that aisle. Others are complacent and walk down just fine in their pretty flower girl dress, scattering petals from their basket or carrying flowers and smiling.

All of these situations are normal in any given wedding, and while we encourage you to look at both the entertaining and the anxious flower girls with fondness and even humor – it is, after all, not the end of the world and adding another memory to your special day – there are some things you can try to ease those nerves and inspire confidence in the anxious one who would rather cling to a leg than start walking.

To get an idea of how your flower girl may react to her role, discuss it honestly with her parents or guardians well in advance of the wedding and ask if they have ideas for easing her nerves.

One thing you’ll need to decide before your wedding is whether your flower girl will stand with the rest of the attendants during the entire ceremony, or if she’ll walk down the aisle and then sit with her parents or guardians. If your flower girl is anxious, choosing the latter should help ease her fears a little knowing that she will only have to walk to her parents and sit with them. It will also ensure that guests will pay attention to your ceremony rather than the precious – and perhaps precocious and entertaining – little attendant in an adorable flower girl dress.

If she’ll be sitting after walking down the aisle, find out if she has a favorite doll that goes places with her. If so, she may enjoy having her doll wear a dress similar to her flower girl dress and knowing that her doll is waiting for her to sit down. (Fancy doll dresses like this can be found online or in stores of specialty doll shops, ebay and even the AmericanGirl doll store.) The parents may even want to tell her that the doll will be walking down the aisle first, and will be waiting for her so they can sit together in their dresses and watch the wedding.

Along this same line, offering her a special treat after her performance is over may sweeten the deal. This will depend on her age and whether she understands that she won't get the gift until after she walks the aisle, but showing her a little gift she can get excited about, wrapped or not, or even a box of raisins or something sweet to eat (that won't stain her flower girl dress) might give her extra incentive to walk.

A flower girl who is very happy about her pretty flower girl dress will be more likely to want to show her dress off, so consider letting her take part in choosing the dress or flower girl accessories. Tell her how excited everyone is to see her pretty flower girl dress.

Practicing her walk down the aisle over a period of time and preparing her for what it will be like may also help. Parents or guardians should begin by walking down the “aisle” with her at home, or even in other locations, then start encouraging her to walk it herself while others pretend to be guests. She can even wear her flower girl dress a few times during these practice sessions. The rehearsal will also be a good place to practice, and you may consider letting her practice a few times down the aisle before many of the attendants arrive.

The parents or guardians will know best how their flower girl will react to seeing the bride and her attendants prepping themselves for the wedding, but if they think it might ease her fears to take a little part in prepping with them, consider letting the flower girl participate. Having her hair fixed, and possibly makeup or a little lip gloss depending on her age, along with the bride and other attendants may help her feel how important her role is in the wedding. If she is allowed to wear a little makeup, make sure not to apply it until after her flower girl dress is on. Also be sure to have her wear a button-down shirt while she has her hair fixed.

If all else fails, having your flower girl walk down the aisle with someone else is one of the best ways to ease her anxiety. If you will have a ring bearer, they can walk together. If not, consider letting her walk down the aisle with the maid or matron of honor – especially if this is a relative or someone she knows well. It’s also not inappropriate for the mother or guardian to walk with her if necessary and she doesn’t know other attendants. If she has someone to walk with or even hold hands with, she may still be shy as she walks down, but she will most likely at least make the walk and show off her pretty flower girl dress.